HaRuHi! GX
by SubZeroGreymon
Summary: Kyon enters Duel Academy, and hopes that he'll be free from the madness of the outside world... until he meets Haruhi Suzumiya. Needless to say, his life's upside down.
1. Chapter 1

**Yes, I'm attempting another TMOHS/YGO Crossover. The old one got to a point where it went nowhere, and overall got confusing. Therefore, I'm making another, more orderly one. Yes, it seems like it's going to suffer the fate of the original GX, but I'm going to have it be both as funny as TMOHS and as serious as YGO Season 0. So, don't bag it. Please.**

* * *

When did I stop believing in the Millenium Items?

It would be more accurate to say that I never believed in such a thing. The idea of gold pieces containing spirits was completely absurd to me. However, I still believed in things like Duel Monsters spirits. I wanted to rescue beautiful girls from evil organizations, and save the earth with supernatural powers. It was only in middle school that I learned that no such things actually existed. Reality can be so cruel sometimes.

Eventually, I became a great duelist. Great enough to enter Duel Academy, a high-school that doubled as a normal high school and a dueling center.

I made it to the sign-ups, and written down my name. Since nobody uses it to refer to me, I use a nickname my sister gave to me:

Kyon.

But enough of that. I entered the building, where some Duelists were having entry duels. I knew that I would be dueling for a life away from everything else, and I came prepared.

As I sat down, I noticed a girl next to me looking over her deck, her green-hued hair falling to her seat.

"Hey," I said, "Nervous?"

"A little," the girl said, "My name's Keiko Tsuruya."

"Kyon," I replied, holding out my hand.

"Yo!" I heard a very familiar voice, and turned to my old friend, "'Sup, Kyon!"

"Oh, Hey, Taniguchi," I replied to my old friend from middle school.

"Looks like another great year, only this time at a Duelist Boarding School!"

Whoop-de-doo.

"Oh, this guy's overconfident, Nyoro," Tsuruya raised an eyebrow.

"Nyoro?"

"That's my catchphrase," Tsuruya explained.

"Will you two be quiet?" another guy looked at us from the row behind us, "I'm studying their strategies."

"Way to be a sourpuss, Kunikida," Taniguchi observed.

"Taniguchi, shut up," Kunikida growled at him.

As we conversed, I noticed a girl with long, brown hair staring at the situation. She was just a row away from me, so I decided to engage her in conversation.

"Hi," I said, "The name's Kyon. Yours?"

The girl stood up and turned around, revealing hazel eyes that accented her hair, and a cute face.

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya." the Girl began, "I don't have time for normal humans, and am currently seeking Spirits of Duel Monster cards. If you have anything related to these topics, say them now, because I don't care for anything else. Thank you."

Then she turns and sat down again.

Is she serious about that?

"All of it," Haruhi replied.

Seeing nothing else to do, I turned to Haruhi again.

"So..." I said, "I happen to know what you're going through. I used to be obsessed with those topics myself."

"Really?" Haruhi turned to me again.

"I used to look around for them every day," I continued, "Then I realized something."

"Like what?"

I was tempted to say they didn't exist, but I decided to soften the pain.

"It would be a one in a million chance of finding them. There are billions upon billions of people that live on this planet, and something like a Duel Monster spirit would be an extremely uncommon thing. How would you go about locating one, especially since they'd most likely want to remain hidden?"

Haruhi frowned at this and rubbed her chin, looking thoughtful for a moment.

"Good point," she conceded, "But I'm willing to risk that chance."

Dang. Well, allow the inevitable, I guess.

"Will Haruhi Suzumiya please enter Duel Arena 3 ASAP?" The announcer yelled.

"... We'll continue this conversation later," Haruhi spoke, then walked down to said arena.

* * *

After my duel, which I won, I was waiting for my dorm assignment. There were three dorms in Duel Academy:

_Dorm #1: Obelisk Blue  
Named after Obelisk the Tormentor, this dorm contained all the top Duelists of Duel Academy. Most have extreme inferiority complexes, but a few have sympathies with the lower dorms._

_Dorm #2: Ra Yellow  
Named after The Winged Dragon of Ra, this dorm contained all the average students. As you can imagine, Ra students outnumber most other students._

_Dorm #3: Slifer Red  
Named after Slifer the Sky Dragon, This dorm contained all the pathetic students in terms of either Dueling or Grades. It also doubled as a toolshed. No shit.  
_  
As I observed the Board, Taniguchi and Kunikida walked up to me.

"If you like Suzumiya, forget it," said Taniguchi, "I was in her middle school class for three years in a row. I can tell you from experience, don't bother. She dumped every guy she was ever with back in middle school. The longest lasted a week, the shortest was five minutes." He sounded very disdainful when he said, "If you don't want to go out, then don't say yes!"

"But I don't like her," I replied, "She's just a very strange person."

"Just be cautious of her, Kyon," Kunikida warned.

Huh. Cautious. With Haruhi around, this should be an interesting year...

* * *

As I looked out my window for the last time this year, I could swear, I saw a blue giant, a yellow eagle, and a red dragon in the sky.

Well, with nowhere else to go, I should be getting to bed.

* * *

Up next, The Dorms are decided!


	2. Chapter 2

Okay... I'm here, looking for my name in all three lists. Obelisk Freshmen include...

Yuki Nagato, Taka Kaiba, Ryoko Asakura, Ryunosuke Bakura... the list goes on and on...

Okay, Ra Yellow...

Haruhi Suzumiya (Huh... she must be good), Taniguchi, Kunikida, Keiko Tsuruya, Chu Ruya (Huh, that rhymes with Tsuruya), Itsuki Koizumi... again, goes on and on...

Finally, Slifer Red (God, I hope I don't end up there.)

Mikuru Asahina, Jake Wheeler, Nagaru Tachiwa, Kazuki Takahashi, Kyon.

What. The. Hell.

I'm. A. (EFF)ing. Slifer.

The universe just flipped me off. Dammit.

* * *

LATER, AFTER A CEREMONY THAT HAS NOTHING OF PLOTLINE VALUE WHATSOEVER...

So... this is my current situation.

1. I'm a Slifer Red, and thus disrespected by everyone.

2. I'm stuck in the same room as a Brooklyn-accented spaz by the name of Jake Wheeler.

3. Every class, my seat is in front of a certain, brown-haired Ra Yellow girl. You can pretty much guess the one.

"So Kyon," she said, "What do you really think about the whole thing?"

I raised my head up and sighed, "What whole thing?"

"About me being crazy. I know the rumors being tossed around about me, and it doesn't surprise me one bit."

I had to admit, she had a certain kind of charm about her.

I mentally slapped myself, get a hold of yourself, man!

"Well..." I paused, "All great people in history were different from the norm, Albert Einstien, Da Vinci, Steven Hawking. They all revolutionized the world in thier own way because they were 'strange'. However, they also had something else, they were geniuses. Normal High school kids like us should just worry about trying to pass and get through our lives." I turned my body slightly to look at Haruhi again, and her smirk had disappeared. She was now glaring out the nearby window. What did I do to piss her off?

SIGH.

Well, I'd better start ignoring her.

...Was something tugging the back of my shirt.

Something was DEFINITELY tugging my collar.

AUGH!!

That something hit my head on Haruhi's desk. Recovering, I turned and narrowed my eyes. It seemed to have no effect, "That's it!"

"What's it?"

"If Duel Monster spirits won't come to me, then I'll go looking for them!"

I blushed when I realized the whole class was staring. Before I hadn't cared much, but now it was just plain embarrasing. "Suzumiya-san, maybe you should calm down a little."

"No!" she shouted, "It's so simple I can't believe I didn't realize it before." She loomed over me, "Come with me, Kyon!"

"Wha..."

Before I had realized what was happening, I felt a gust of air rush through my hair, and Haruhi was running out of the classroom with me in tow.

"STOP! ARE YOU MAD!? CLASS DIDN'T EVEN END YET!"

It appeared that she did not hear me, or was just plain ignoring me. A huge grin was plastered on her face as she dashed me through the halls to God knows where.

The fact that I had ended up with this troublesome girl was more than enough for me to handle. Whatever deity that lived in the sky must have suddenly decided, 'Hey, that dude looks like he has a boring life, let's spice it up a little.'

I LIKED my boring life thank you very much, and I wanted it back.

These inner monologues of mine really need to stop, I have a seriously bad habit of talking to myself.

I opened my mouth to shout another complaint, but it appeared stopped. "Okay," she said, still with that goofy grin.

I looked at my surroundings, it appeared we had stopped in the stairwell, "And where are we exactly?" I asked.

"This is where I go to think."

"The stairwell?"

"That's beside the point. I'm going to make a club!"

"A club?"

"Yeah, and it'll be dedicated to finding the answers I need, which, as stated before, included things like aliens, espers, and time travelers. We need to get a clubroom."

A small protest rose in my throat. We? Since when had this involved the word we? Last time I checked I wasn't about to take part in the crazy schemes going through this girl's head, yet here I was...

In the stairwell...

"Fine," I said, "I'll help... "


	3. Chapter 3

I tried to resist... I really did...

The fact that I was standing in the middle of the deserted literary club in no way meant that I was appeasing Haruhi's crazy antics. In fact, I was totally against them.

It all started a couple of days ago.

When I had foolishly spoken to the Duelist known as Haruhi Suzumiya.

"The literary club was going to be shut down if no one joined," she explained to me, opening the door to a very blank room. In the center of the room sat a long table with a single chair, in that chair sat a lavender haired Obelisk Blue girl, with a black-clothed uniform, about our age with glasses, flipping through the book in her hands quietly, "She was the one that joined."

"Yuki Nagato," said the girl quietly.

"And she's okay with this?"I asked sceptically.

"It's fine," said Yuki.

"But are you sure about this? You'll probably get booted out."

"Yes. But I'm willing to risk it."

I sighed heavily, obviously my last ditch effort had not succeeded in detering Haruhi's will. "Then it's decided!" she shouted, "This will be our club room, hold on a second, I'll be right back!"

She disappeared as quickly as we had entered, and not but a minute later she dragged in a very cute and very frightened looking red haired Slifer girl, "This will be our mascot!" she shouted joyfully, "I always go through the building on lunch breaks to find cute girls that happen to be Duelist, and you just can't get any cuter than this!"

If you were a guy, you'd have a very sick mind, Haruhi Suzumiya.

"I don't know what's going on," said the girl timidly, looking around the room in fright. Her eyes landed on Nagato-san, and some of the fright vanished, "Oh, I see. Okay, then, I'll join your club." She spoke so quietly it was hard to hear what she said, and I instantly felt sorry for her, "I'm Asahina Mikuru."

"Great, now you drag her into this," I muttered.

She smirked and chuckled, as if I had made a joke, "She's not the only thing I've got. I've decided on a name for this club!"

Oh no.

Attention world!

The name for the secret club borrowing the literary room is about to be revealed!

"SOS Brigade!"

My stomach did a backflip, "S... O... S?"

"Save the World by Overloading it with Fun Suzumiya Haruhi's Brigade."

Please tell me she was joking.

Please tell me I would wake up any minute now to my little sister bouncing on my back.

My first week at high school, and my life had already been ruined.

Why did she drag me into this?

Dammit I've gotta stop this inner monologue.  


* * *

One week after the creation of the SOS Brigade, and a lot strange had happened, sure, but we had yet to encounter any aliens, time travelers, or espers. I mentioned that I enjoyed my life being boring, and that had not changed.

Why did it have to be me?

I tried to find the will to turn around in the hallway and leave the school, but my feet continued to carry me towards the clubroom. Haruhi had picked up various things laying around the school to liven up the room. A couple of shelves and filing cabinets adorned the right wall, and more chairs surrounded the long table, as well as a book shelf to the left. I frowned, Maybe Haruhi did think of other people. I turned my attention back to the table to see Nagato reading calmly as usual, no expression on her face. "Yo," I said calmly.

She looked up momentarily from her book and placed a finger on her glasses, pushing them up to the bridge of her nose, "Hello... Kyon."

Emotionless, this one.

I walked in and sat across from Nagato, resting my chin on the palm of my hand, "Watcha reading?" She held up the book she was reading. I could tell it was about robots and aliens just by looking at it. Perhaps that explained her current behavior. "Seems like something Haruhi would be interested in."

Nagato didn't respond. What was with her?

Mikuru Asahina timidly stepped into the room in a maid outfit. Now what I couldn't understand is how Haruhi got her to wear the damn thing. She walked in one day with the outfit and declared loudly that Asahina-san was to wear the outfit at all club meetings. For some odd reason... she had complied.

The door to the club room slammed open, shaking almost the entire school grounds, "Your fearless leader has arrived!! We've got a lot to do today. Brigade members number 1 and 3!" Haruhi shouted, pointing to me and Asahina-san, "You're coming with me to the computer lab next door, we're gonna get a computer."

Well, this is beginning to ROYALLY suck.

As we walked to the Computer Clubroom, Asahina-san was looking over her deck. Peering over her shoulder, I saw that she ran a Plant/Fairy Deck. Fitting for her.

As we entered the room, Haruhi shouted, "We, the SOS Brigade, are in need of a computer!"

"Hm..." One of them said, probably the leader, then replied with, "No. We're already using them."

"Well, we're willing to steal it if necessary."

"Okay," Another one said, "We'll let you have a computer..."

He pulled out a deck of Duel Monster cards. Oh no.

"... if you can beat me."

"Fine." Haruhi complied.

"Meet me at the secondary Duel Arena of the school."  


* * *

As the two walked for the back parking lot, Asahina-san and I followed.

The two stood at opposite sides of the Arena. This was going to get ugly.

"Well, for the sake of the computer..." Haruhi started.

"Let's Duel!" they yelled.

Computer Club LP: 4000

SOS Brigade LP: 4000

Computer Club's turn.

"I draw," The member began, " First, I'll play Card Destruction to reload our hands, then I'll summon Ancient Gear Soldier (1300)! Attack Mode!"

A mechanical man that looked like it had been through a bunch of wars appeared.

"Then, I'll set two cards face down," the member said, as two giant hologram cards appeared, "and end my turn."

Haruhi's turn.

"Draw!" Haruhi yelled, "I'll summon X-Head Cannon (1800)! In Attack Mode!"

A larger, modern blue robot appeared.

"And now, I'll attack Ancient Gear Soldier!" Haruhi yelled, as the X-Head Cannon fired two cannons on its shoulders, aimed at AGS.

"Trap Card! Hajiro!" The member reacted, as a card lifted, morphing into what appeared to be some kind of armor. "Attack Guidance Armor!"

Attack Guidance Armor: AGA is programmed to attach to a target and redirect one attack to that target.

"You wouldn't attack a girl..." Haruhi asked, "... would you?"

"Yes, I would. And I will! Guidance Armor, Attach to Haruhi Suzumiya!" the member declared.

As the armor attached to Haruhi, the X-Head Cannon's blasts missed AGS. Swiveling to Haruhi, it blasted her.

SOS Brigade LP: 2200

"That was easy," The member commented. "My turn. First, I summon Ancient Gear Knight (1800)!"

Another old robot with what appeared to be a lance and a shield appeared.

"And next, I activate Double Summon!"

Double Summon: DS allows you to normal summon one more time in the same turn.

"Now, I release Ancient Gear Soldier and Knight..." the member continued, "... to summon Ancient Gear Golem (3000)!"

The Soldier and Knight suddenly fall apart, fusing their body parts together to become a mechanical Giant.

"However, since I'm merciful, I'll end my turn." the Member said.

"Big mistake. Draw," Haruhi drew a card, "Then I'll play two Dark Cores!"

"Two? I only have Ancient Gear Golem..."

"Now, by discarding my Z-Metal Tank and Y-Dragon Head from my hand, I'll get rid of both Ancient Gear Golem..." Haruhi smirked when that giant mech faded away, "... and X-Head Cannon."

As X-Head Cannon did the same, the member yelled, "WTF? X-Head was your monster! What are you doing?"

"Next, I'll remove Z-Metal Tank and Y-Dragon Head from my graveyard with the effect of Soul Release!"

"Have you gone mad?"

"I'm not done yet. Activate Return from the Different Dimension!" Haruhi declared.

Return from the Different Dimension: At the cost of half your life points, this card can bring to the field all monsters removed from play.

SOS Brigade: 1100 LP

As X, Y, and Z return to the field, Haruhi smirks, then yells, "X, Y, Z! Combiner Mode!"

The three monsters combine into a single monster: "XYZ-Dragon Cannon!" (2800)

Haruhi, smirking, then yelled, "XYZ! Attack his life points! One Turn K-O!"

"X-Caliber Barrage!" XYZ fired X-Head's cannons.

"Trap Card Hajiro!" The member reacted, "Sakuretsu Armor!"

Sakuretsu: One attacking monster dies.

XYZ blew up into pieces. Haruhi shielded herself.

She smirked, then activated Monster Reborn.

"I think I'll revive one of the monsters I discarded with Card Destruction... Chthonian Emperor Dragon (2400)!"

A bright light glowed behind her, fading into a massive, large, impressive dragon.

"Now..." Haruhi spoke, "Chthonian Emperor Dragon! Attack his Life Points! Fire Blast Stream!!"

"Trap Card OPEN!" The member yelled. "Magic Cylinder!"

SOS: 0 LP

Well, it was entertaining, seeing Haruhi put up a fight.  


* * *

Back in the Computer Club room...

"So, we keep the computer. Sorry." The member said, sympathetic.

Haruhi grinned.

Oh crap.

She grabbed the hand of the club leader and pulled Asahina-san closer.

The next sound I heard was Asahina's 'Kya!!!!'

Currently, the club leader's hand was in a place I'm sure Asahina would rather not have it.

If I kept blushing at the rate I was going, I was sure to end up like those poor saps with nose bleeds.

The click of a camera brought me out of my thoughts, and I was surprised to see Haruhi taking pictures of the leader groping her chest. I was gonna kill her.

"NOW!" Shouted Haruhi cheerfully, finally pulling a crying Asahina. My eyebrow twitched when he continued, "If you don't give me one of your computers, I'm going to mail these pictures of you molesting our poor moe club member."

Asahina was moe?

"No!" shouted the leader, standing up and jumping for the camera that Haruhi was holding above his head, "That's no fair, you forced us to molest these poor girls!"

Damn that sounded cheesy, these guys played way too many H games.

"Hmm, I don't know about that," said Haruhi skeptically, "From where I'm standing, it looks like the whole club wants to gang rape this girl!"

Why was I doing nothing to stop this sad excuse for blackmail?  


* * *

"Kyon, you get to set up our website!"

"Why me?"

"Because you do nothing but stand around in the club room, you need to help the SOS Brigade! You were there when I created it. If I were to die, you would have to take my place as Brigade Chief."

Maybe when pigs fly.

"Another phenomonan, the flying pig!"

Wait, did she just... Never mind.

Nagato-san stood and shut her book. She looked at me for a good long moment, "What?"

She set the book down on the table and looked back up at me, "I'm lending this to you," she said simply, emotionless as always, "Please... read it."

"Okay..."

Needless to say, I was surprised at what I found in the book, instead of Nagato-san's bookmark, it was a small folded piece of paper. When I opened it up I wasn't expecting what I found.

_Kyon,_

Meet me tonight at the nearby park. Second bench from the entrance.

Nagato.  
  
Well, this is beginning to get somewhat interesting...  


* * *

On my way to the dorm my thoughts invaded my mind, did Nagato-san really have a crush on me, or was this something else entirely? It was hard to tell with her sometimes, and I didn't hang out with her too often, it was mostly the crazy girl that ended up dragging me around. Then again, it would make sense since Nagato-san was always the silent type. After changing into jeans and a shirt I talked to Professor Jaden Yuki and told him I was going to see a friend of mine at the park. He kind of smirked, which made me uneasy, "Okay," he said gently, "Just be back by ten."

It was then that my dormmate, Jake, bounded into the room with a huge grin plastered on his face, "Hey, guys! Kyon's got a girlfriend!" he shouted loudly.

My eyebrow twitched and I decided to leave him to his own imaginitave devices.  


* * *

The park was quiet to say the least, and the sun was setting quickly. It was getting close to winter, so it was slightly chilly outside. I shivered lightly and pulled my arms together, trying to ignore the goosebumps that popped up on my skin.

"Kyon-san."

I turned to the emotionless voice and saw Nagato walking towards me, slowly yet deliberately. "Nagato-san," I said politely.

"I suppose you're wondering why we're here."

"So what did you want to tell me?" I asked curiously.

"I am not of this world. I am a member of the Orion Occupation Forces."

The fact that she said it like I should understand it made me uncomfortable, like it was simple as E=MC2, or x=ab.

Like it was a fact I should have come to on my own, "What your kind would call a duel spirit."

"What?"

This was a surprising development. Haruhi would definately get a kick out of this.

"To be specific, the card that represents me as accurate as possible would be Alien Mother," Yuki continued.

You don't LOOK like her...

"That's because of an incident that happened three years ago. Now Duel Monsters look like humans when outside of their own temporal zone."

Simply impossible.

Ridiculous.

"At the center of this incident was Haruhi Suzumiya. Some of us began to observe her. Humans are never able to use the Destiny Draw ability to influence the data around them, the simple fact that Suzumiya-san is capable of this is a reason to observe her."

So you're saying she is an evolutionary leap or something? That's ridiculous, how do you expect me to believe something like this?

She continued, "For a reason unknown to us, Suzumiya-san chose you."

Chose... me?

Okay... Suppose I believed you, why did Haruhi pick me? And what the hell am I supposed to do?

Nagato pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose, "It is unknown how you will get involved, but your involvement is undeniable."

I didn't expect the quiet bookworm types were this crazy.  


* * *

MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE OF KYON'S RANGE OF AWARENESS...

"I just love eavesdropping..." Jake muttered to himself as he watched from a nearby bush, "I hear such tasty gossip. This is better then what I heard outside of that girl's dorm... and that was pretty dirty."


	4. Chapter 4

What Nagato-san told me the night before was playing through my head over and over again. An Alien Card. Not that I believed her or anything, but the simple fact that she told me such a thing was very surprising.

I did my daily treck to the central part of the school up the steepest part of the hill. It had become such a part of my daily routine that it didn't even bother me anymore.

Besides, I had other things to worry about when it came to being bothered, "Kyon! Wait up."

And there was Taniguchi, running as fast as his legs could carry him. "So," he said, almost completely out of breath by the time he had reached me, "What's going on between you and Suzumiya-san?"

Going on?

Let's see, first she kidnapped me from the classroom, then she made me help him form that stupid brigade, then she sexually harrased a girl through the leader of the computer club. What WASN'T going on? Well, obviously not what Taniguchi was thinking, "Nothing Taniguchi, you need to stop watching romantic comedies," I said simply.

"There's something going on. I know it." Taniguchi insisted, "I'm keeping an eye on you. Kyon."

Great... now I had the watchful eye of a guy that was obsessed with romance on me. Please, let this all be a long dream.  


* * *

Nope, this was definitely real. Haruhi sat in her desk, head resting on her hand, staring out the window. When someone tapped me on the shoulder, I turned to see Ryoko Asakura, Obelisk Blue's polite girl. "Keep up what you're doing," she said gently, "Haruhi hasn't had any friends almost her entire life... until you that is."

Friend? If you'd call being a friend what I've been through, then I guess, but I sure didn't. "I'm not really doing anything," I replied, "I just talked to her."

"Really?" Ryoko said, overtly interested.

Turning around, she walked to her seat.  


* * *

Later, I was searching the school with Asahina-san (Blame Haruhi), when a thought came to me:

"Asahina-san, what did Haruhi do to make you do this?"

She looked confused, but I plowed on, "There are plenty of people out there for you to befriend," I said reassuringly, "This is a path you don't need to go down, no matter what that jerk says. Don't do it Asahina-san, do NOT taint your purity."

An awkward silence followed.

Was my advice really that bad?

It was then I noticed that the girl was the color of a freshly ripe cherry, "It's not that at all!"

It was unlike Asahina-san to shout, so naturally it was surprising to me. It was then that I realized my mistake. If I looked at myself in the mirror right now I'd probably be twice as red as the timid girl standing in front of me. Asahina looked away and frowned deeply, "It's something of extreme importance, recent events have taken place that require you to be informed."

Now she was talking strangely. She walked to a nearby bench and sat down, twiddling her thumbs. I hesitated, but followed, sitting down next to her without a word. It was a good minute before she workedup the courage to speak, "I don't belong here."

Everything was falling into place, what Nagato-san had said the other night came flooding back.

"I'm not supposed to be in this world," she said simply.

This had to be some kind of joke the brigade was pulling, right?

"I was sent here to look into a matter of grave importance. It appears that there is an anomoly surrounding Suzumiya-san."

Yet again, the eccentric and crazy high schooler was at the center of things.

"I guess you could call me a Duel Spirit," she said softly. "The Spirit of Magician's Valkiria."

"So why were you sent here?" I asked.

"Strange things are happening around Suzumiya-san, it all started three years ago."

Again with the five years. What happened three years ago?

"I was sent to investigate these discrepancies, and I was surprised to find Nagato-san there as well. The fact that the Alien Monsters, normally simply a race of observers, takes any interest in Suzumiya-san at all was enough proof that she was the center of all this."

I frowned, "So she's a time-plane anomoly as well? What's my part in all this? Nagato-san said she 'chose' me and I still don't know why. I'm just a normal guy trying to grind his way through High School, there's nothing special about me, and until now there was nothing special about the people around me. Why am I here, talking to a supposed Spellcaster-type Duel Monster, when I should be at home studying?"

She turned her head to face me, and with a gentle smile, she brought a finger to her mouth, "That's classified information."

God, she looked cute- STOP IT, Kyon, STOP it! Bad mind!  


* * *

"I can't believe you two didn't find anything, PENALTY!"

I frowned, "And what exactly did you and Nagato-san find."

Haruhi's face blanked, and then she turned around and found it time wise to stare at the bus stop, with a glare on her face probably, "That's besides the point, we're going to search extra hard tomorrow, and we'll find something, I'm sure of it!"

She stormed off in the other direction, and I walked up to Nagato-san. Her attention was focused on the retreating Haruhi, but when I tugged her sleeve lightly, she turned to look at me, "Yes?"

"About the other night," I said, "I think I'm starting to believe you."


	5. Chapter 5

What happened next was unexpected, apparantly the fates had aligned perfectly to have this outcome.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Haruhi slammed the door to the club room open, behind her stood an Obelisk Blue guy about my age with brown hair and the most plastic smile I had ever encountered. "This club needs a male Obelisk Blue that very few people know about, and this guy fits the role perfectly!" shouted Haruhi.

The man immediately looked in my direction. Was I just imagining it or was his smile getting a bit too friendly, "Hello." His voice was sophisticated to say the least, but I had a feeling that if I were forced to listen to it for long periods of time it would drive me insane. "I'm Itsuki Koizumi, nice to meet you all."

He says 'you all' while still staring at me of course. Can he even see when his eyes are squinted like that?

If one thing was for sure, the prescence of Koizumi was an unsettling thing, but it seemed that Haruhi was as happy as ever. "I have to head back," said Haruhi, "But you guys can get to know each other."

The door slammed behind Haruhi.

I had an extremely bad feeling about this.

"Kyon, right?" asked Itsuki, still with that plastic smile.

"Yeah," I said uneasily.

He walked to me and leaned down, holding out her hand for me to shake.

Your face is way too close.

Nevertheless, I shoke his hand and frowned, "Meet me out in the courtyard of the school in twenty minutes, we have certain things that need to be discussed."

Now I had a really bad feeling about this.  


* * *

The courtyard was completely empty, save for the single soul that sat on a table under the shade of one of the trees, sipping from a cup with a straw. I made my way over to Koizumi and sat down. There was a drink in the center of the table besides the one that he was holding, he pushed it towards me, passing it as an offer. I debated on whether or not to trust her intentions before simply shrugging and taking the cup. I sipped from it.

Hmmm...

Coffee.

"There's a reason I called you out here."

Nah, really?

Koizumi leaned over the table, and I made it a point to scoot back slightly, trying to avoid his stare. This was awkward. "It's about Suzumiya-san."

This again?

He sighed deeply and paused before continuing. "I suppose I might as well just get to the point. I am what you'd call a Duel Spirit. To be most specific, Overdrive Transporter"

I bit my tongue at the irony of this situation. Duel Sprits, three of them, what Haruhi were looking for, were under the SOS Brigade's roof, and she didn't even know it.

That is, of course, if all three were telling the truth.

"You see, Suzumiya-san is special, in a sense. Three years ago, as our intelligence suggests, her father disappeared from unknown circumstances, leaving his duel deck for Haruhi. The moment she touched it, she somehow gained the ability to alter her surroundings, like a god of sorts. She became our focus ever since."

"So, she's somehow both a step in evolution, a time anomaly, and God at the same time."

"We're not sure what she became, but we believe it has something to do with something that happened five millennia ago, in Egypt."

Egypt?

"Well, maybe a dramatic explanation would help you out on it. You see, Five Thousand Years ago, Egyptian Kings found a way to access the powers of the soul. using these powers, they set up small rights of passage called, 'Shadow Games.' But they proved unstable, so a brave pharaoh locked them away within seven items that were not to be found for all eternity. But, after Five thousand years, a card game appeared that was based off these shadow games. Duel Monsters. These Items disappeared some time ago."

"So what's my part in all this?" Perhaps I could get a straight answer out of this one.

"We're not sure."

Or maybe not.

"Okay, if you're a Psychic, then prove it." I set my cup down and glared at him, "Reheat this cup of coffee."

"I can't do that," he said simply, "You see, in order for us to use our powers certain conditions have to be met. However, I believe these conditions will be met soon." He stood from her seat and smiled that same plastic smile, "Until then, you'll just have to take my word for it, Kyon."

As he walked away my brain was reeling from had had happened over the past few days. Strange occurances were popping up everywhere. Even if they weren't telling the truth, what were the odds of getting three crazy people under one roof? Not exactly astronomical that's for sure. Maybe I should have gone to see a shrink, but then again, that probably wouldn't have helped.

Haruhi Suzumiya, what have you gotten me into?


	6. Chapter 6

It was an ordinary day here in the SOS Brigade clubroom. And I mean really ordinary.

I had been half-expecting Haruhi to drag us out a patrol of the neighborhood or swindle another club out of something useful to us. But no.

Instead, Haruhi seemed to be more interested in playing some sort of puzzle game on the computer. I forgot the name of it though; some kind of variation of Tetris or something. Yuki was reading as usual, Asahina was seated next to me and trying to get an early start on her homework, and Koizumi was reading a book that Nagato had already finished. I just sat there checking my watch every now and then.

God, I wonder what could make today more interesting...

"Kyon," Itsuki spoke. What did he want NOW?

As we got to the docks, I had to ask something, "What is this about?"

"The conditions have been met," he said calmly, getting into the rear seat and scooting over to make room for me as well. "I believe I owe you an explanation."

Damn right you do.

"You already know that Haruhi is special. When her emotions become unstable, the world around her does as well. An area full of energy similar to the mysterious Shadow Realm is created from this, called, 'Closed Space'."

"Closed space?"

"Yes, it's a simple term, derived from the simple fact that it is closed off from anyone who wishes to enter, aside from Duel Spirits of course. This Closed Space is where my powers manifest themselves, as you will soon see. In this space are blue giants, Celestials. They destroy everything around them, taking out Haruhi's frustrations without harming the world that she created."

As we made it to the docks, Itsuki turned to me and said, "Kyon, you're going to have to hold my hand."

Whoa now.

"Nobody said anything about having to hold hands."

"Trust me, it's the only way for you to follow me into the Closed Space, you are not a Duel Spirit like myself."

He held out his hand to me and I gritted my teeth, this was a hundred times worse than when he got too close, but if it was to find out the truth...

I reached for his hand and he took it gently, beginning to walk back.

A sudden sensation flowed through me, almost as if I had dived into a swiming pool. I gasped for air and released Itsuki's hand, "It takes some getting used to," he said softly, "But it doesn't take long to recover, it's not a violent transferal or anything."

When I caught my breath I looked around myself. The surroundings were almost exactly the same, the only differences were that everything was dark, grey, and dull.

"So this is closed space? It seems so... dead."

"Indeed... Follow me, it's time to show you what you came here to see."

Itsuki led me to a nearby lighthouse. Going inside, we climbed to the very top. The top floor only made the world seem more surreal, the humming of the light was absent, and the stillness of it all sent a chill down my spine. I walked to the edge of the roof, towards the tall railing. A rumble, almost like a creature not from this planet, echoed in my ears. In the distance I saw it.

The blue giant.

The Celestial.

It was flailing its arms madly, destroying the buildings around it, demolishing anything and everything it could hit. Itsuki walked to my side, "See its wanton destruction, all of Suzumiya-san's anger and frustration at the world around him, let out in this pure and brutal fury. Suzumiya-san enjoys the current world, so she subconsciously confines the creatures to this Closed Space in order to preserve what is around her. If these Closed Spaces did not exist, the world as we know it would fall into utter chaos. On the contrary, if the Closed Spaces become too great, they would overthrow the very reality around them. Our job as Psychic-types is to keep these Closed Spaces from spreading, in order to do that, we destroy the Celestials with our powers."

I saw red spheres were beginning to circle the creature, almost as if they were dancing around it. It swatted at them like bothersome flies, but to no avail.

"My colleagues," he said softly, "I should join them. Wait here, and observe Kyon."

Itsuki's very being began to glow, and a red sphere surrounded his entire body. He slowly began to float into the air, through a hole in the roof, and away towards the Celestial in the distance. The red spheres continued to dance, now joined by their final comrade. An arm was sliced from the creature, then a leg, shortly followed by its severed head. It burst into thousands of particles.

"Wow" was all I had to say.

Landing next to me, Itsuki's sphere disappeared. "Now," he said softly, "Watch what happens next."

I heard a loud crack. I looked up to the sky and what I saw surprised me. The sky itself looked like it had been broken, and sunlight was leaking in through the grey. It cracked again, and again.

Everything went white.

And we were once again at the docks.

"So now you see," said Itsuki happily, walking towards me and leaning forward, "My role is a very important one."

Your face is way too close.

"Well, well, well," I heard a voice speak, "What do we have here?"

Turning, we say none other then Ryunosuke Bakura, His white hair shimmered in the night, and his brown eyes looked a lot like they were staring into your soul.

"A Slifer hanging out with an Obelisk," Bakura-san muttered, "Sickening, to say the least. It's bad enough that they now have Female Slifers and Ras. I remember the time that Girls were only Obelisks. It's a joke. I'll see you fools later," and with that, he left.

Huh... never been berated by an Obelisk before.

"Always hurts the first time," Itsuki muttered.

"There are rumors going all over the school about you two, Kyon."

I shrugged, let them talk, the SOS Brigade thing was my business, if people wanted their gossip so badly then who was I to take it away from them, "Oh yeah?" I inquired, "What kind of rumors exactly?"

Taniguchi leaned over the lunch table and Kunikida got a worried look on his face. "Well," whispered Taniguchi, "They say that you and Suzumiya-san are... dating."

He said the word like it was absolutely forbidden. I rolled my eyes, "One, we're not in kindergarten anymore, it's okay to date girls. Two, If it weren't for the club, Haruhi and I wouldn't even go near each other. Three, I wouldn't date that girl if you gave me a million dollars."

Taniguchi grinned, "You talked to her first," he said slyly, "Before she even made that stupid club."

Dammit it was true, I did initiate conversation with her our first day at school. For some odd and unknown reason, I kept talking to her, even though her behavior creeped me out a bit. Although, looking back on it now, Haruhi's reasoning wasn't so far off the mark. What were the chances of three Duel Spirits joining her little club, unless she herself was supernatural as well? Those three were in her very own club, and she didn't even realize that what she spent all her time searching for was right in front of her all along. I frowned, thinking of telling her, after all, she was pretty much devoting her life to this chase.

What do I care anyways? It's not like I give a crap if she finds what she's looking for!

Haruhi's little adventures could go stuff themselves as far as I was concerned.

"Um, Kyon," said Taniguchi, still with that God awful grin, "You're blushing."

"I AM NOT!"

Sometimes Taniguchi's obsession with romance scared me.

It was hard to believe so much had happened in a span of such short time.

I stood up, and walked out of the cafeteria.

As I continued to walk back to the Slifer Dorm, I noticed... a ripple in the ground in front of me.

"Huh?"

As a man rose from it, I could tell he was from Egypt. Is he another Duel Spirit?

As he walked toward me, I could only stand and watch, as he placed what appeared to be a golden key on my forehead... and turned it.

Egyptian Man's POV

Hm... This Duelist's mind. It looks like a room belonging to a Teenage boy - a very horny teenage boy. I can tell with the poster of the red-haired girl in the swimsuit. If he lived in my homeland of Egypt, he would be stoned to death for his insolence.

Hm... Very Peculiar...

I turned to face... the Soul within the room.

"And you would be?" the boy asked me.

"Jagshemash! My name is Ahmed, apprentice of Shadi. I'm here to persecute those who would steal the Millennium Items," I introduced myself.

"My name is Kyon," The Soul introduced himself.

"I like you, do you like me?"

"No. Look, I didn't steal anything. But if it will set your mind at ease then have a look around." Kyon then disappeared. Looking, I noticed that the girl with the swimsuit had been replaced by the same girl in a maid outfit and a ponytail. Very intriguing.

Looking around, I noticed a heart-shaped frame with a picture of a brown-haired girl inside. This must be a secret crush of his.

As I looked again. I noticed three cards. Obelisk the Tormentor. Slifer the Sky Dragon. Winged Dragon of Ra. Avatars of the Pharoah Atem. I wonder why his soul room contains the cards. Turning, I noticed a TV. Obviously his memories.

I turned it on.

"Kyon, I am a Duel Spirit, one of Alien Mother."

"I'm a Duel Spirit. Magician's Valkyria."

"You COULD call me a Duel Spirit. Overdrive Teleporter."

"Kyon! We have to find some Duel Spirits! Your Brigade Chief commands it!"

... Duel Spirits... Why would they reveal themselves to this guy?

"Haruhi Suzumiya: God? Time Rift? Cosmic Freak of Nature?"

Suzumiya. The New Shadow Games couldn't be tied to Suzumiya, could they?

Kyon's POV

The man suddenly removed the golden key from my forehead.

"I apologize for screwing with your head. It turns out that you are the current chosen one," The man said to me, "Now I must return to Egypt, even though I have not found the one who stole my item. Remember, the fate of the world rests on your tiny little shoulders."

And then he disappeared.

Well, it's not like anything else could happen.

A MINUTE LATER...

"WHERE THE F**K ARE MY CHEETOES?!"

"Jake! Calm down!"

"GIMME MY CHEETOES, KYON!! IF I DON'T HAVE THEM, I'M GONNA DIE!"

"I don't have them!"

"OKAY! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY CHEETOES, I'M GONNA RAVAGE YOU WITH MY FACE!"

"NOT THE FACE! AUGH!!"

End??


	7. Chapter 7

Ever since Haruhi came into my life, things were getting stranger every day, and I would be lying if I said it wasn't confusing me.

The shoe locker room was strangely quiet that day, despite the scuffling of various students retrieving their footwear. I opened my designated locker and was suprised by what I found. A folded piece of paper.

What the heck was the fascination with leaving notes in people's shoe lockers?  
_  
Kyon,_

After school, Mr. Okabe's classroom.

Well that was pretty straightforward.

The day slugged by after that, and I couldn't find it in me to truly listen to Haruhi's ramblings during class, the note was bugging me way too much. I immediately took to narrowing down the list, Nagato-san just would have let me borrow one of her many books. Asahina-san would probably write something on pretty looking stationary, and Haruhi?

She would be more likely to grab my tie and run off with me somewhere before screaming in my face what she wanted to tell me.

Itsuki Koizumi?

After a moment of thought I shook my head, he would have whispered in my ear again most likely, his face way too close for my liking.

No, this was someone else entirely, and more, it obviously had nothing to do with the brigade.  


* * *

The day drew on, as well as the club meeting, and the note never left my mind once. Now that I had eliminated the possibility of it being one of the brigade my curiosity was getting the better of me. I simply had not choice but to show now, so after the club meeting, instead of going home I went straight to Mr. Okabe's class room. The sun had just started setting, casting an almost beautiful orange light through the window of the class. I walked in slowly, wondering what was in store for me. I didn't expect to see the person who was now standing across from me.

"Kyon," said Ryoko Asakura, nodding her head politely, "I am glad that you showed."

It was you...

"Yes. Are you surprised?"

Very. What did you want to see me for?

"Well... it's actually about Suzumiya-san. Tell me," Ryoko replied, "What do you think of her?"

Not Suzumiya again.

"You see, I've grown tired of watching something that never changes. That's why..." Ryoko told me, "I'll eliminate you and see how Haruhi responds."

Huh?

Oh, you make me laugh sometimes, Ryoko.

"I wasn't joking." Ryoko said, before producing something that made my world stop.

A knife.

W... what are you going to do with that? Stay away from me!

"I'm sorry. I can't. My orders are simple: terminate you."

Asakura then charged me with a speed I didn't know she posessed. I'm not a very athletic individual, and I'm certainly not on par with people like Haruhi, but in a situation like this...

I ran to the door, narrowly avoiding Asakura's first strike. I jerked the door and pushed, but to my disdain, nothing happened. Then the door simply vanished, and I was staring at a simple grey wall, common throughout the school, yet now an arbiter of my coming death. I turned and back against the wall, trying to gather the willpower to dodge the next strike.

"There is no escape," she said gently, "I control all data in this area, nothing can get in or out. Your death is inevitable."

"You don't have to do this Asakura-san, please, there's no reason to kill me!"

She looked down at the knife and frowned, "I've never really observed a human's emotions, they don't hold very much of interest. I do not understand the concept of death. I would've done this a long time ago... if it weren't for my meddling superi-"

Just then, another voice spoke.

"Don't you even think of making a Scooby-Doo reference!"

We turned to... Bakura. You again?

"How'd you get in here? This area was sealed!!"

"Please. Before you seal an area with no apparent goal in mind... try making sure you're COMPLETELY alone with the guy you're trying to kill," Bakura smirked.

"Is that a joke?" Asakura growled.

"Yes. You apparently failed to find it funny."

"Well, I'll find it funny when I fry your brain!" Ryoko chuckled... before grabbing a futuristic gun from inside her uniform and firing it as Ryunosuke. Bakura didn't react... but the buttoned shirt that he kept under his Obelisk Blue uniform suddenly opened, and a pronged medallion fired a laser from the middle of an eye design on its front.

The lasers met each other in midair, trying to overpower each other. Eventually, Bakura won... by propelling Ryoko into a wall.

"Hey, Ryoko?" Bakura smirked as he stood in triumph, "Remember when I said I was going to kill YOU last?"

"You... did, Ryu-san," Asakura whimpered. She was so... pathetically cute - Gah! Dumb Hormones!

"I didn't lie about that..." Bakura said, "However... You've become a liability to my plans. Die."

And with that... Ryoko Asakura suddenly shattered to dust.

Yeah, that was... kinda weird...

"Well, that was fun," Bakura smirked, then exited the door (Yes, the door was back)

... And so, Ryoko Asakura was destroyed by Ryunosuke Bakura. But many questions were unanswered. What was that pendant Bakura was holding? Why did Ryoko want to kill me in the first place, rather then a less deadly method? And why didn't Nagato save me?

MEANWHILE, IN THE GYM...  
Third Person POV

"Hehehe." a familiar Blue-Haired girl smirked, "Bakura thought he got rid of me? But he did forget I have ... a back-up plan."

"RYOKO ACHAKURA HAS RETURNED!" Ryoko had been revived. But she started to notice if the room had grown. Until they finally realized she was... tiny. She was, as they call it, "Chibi-fied". It seems this back-up plan backfires.

"... Damn it."

Ryoko turned to see a giant, very familiar face.

"NAGATO-SAN! How did you find me here!?"

"Found out by chance," Yuki responded, before stuffing Ryoko in her bag.

"HEY! LEMME OUT!"  


* * *

LATER, AT YUKI'S DORMROOM...

"So, you want me to stay with you, right?" Ryoko said.

"Correct."

"Well, okay." Ryoko said, forcing a smile.

* * *

**Okay, Now for clarification:**

**Yes, that medallion was the Millenium Ring. It was believed destroyed... but it WASN'T. If you're wondering how Ryu got it, then I'm just as confused as you are.**


	8. Chapter 8

To anybody whom I have been accused of plagerizing,

I am very sorry for such activities. I seriously was having some minor creativity blocks and uploaded those chapters out of spite for the fanfiction. The fic has been deleted, and I will now write my own material.

Again, I am very sorry

Now, On to the chapter!

* * *

It was after school when I walked into the SOS Brigade Clubroom... I entered the room to meet a full blast of...

"I'M BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That came from Haruhi.

"Why hasn't there been anybody signing up that I didn't voluntarily arrest?! Nobody's entered! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! HAVE THEY HAD NO HEARTS TO JOIN THE SOS BRIGADE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 24/7! THIS SUCKS! I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm FREAKING BORRRRRRRRED!!!!!!"

Yep, gone into a rant.

"If you must know," Yuki answered her, "Most of the female population that hasn't joined another club has joined a girl's only club, named the Teenage Girl Squad."

"Unacceptable! We need more members, and we'll have to eliminate that threat!" Haruhi declared, "Yuki, Mikuru, Kyon! Come with me!"

Okay, we're doomed.  


* * *

As we busted into the room, Haruhi yelled, "We're the SOS Brigade! We've come to talk to your leader!"

"That would be me!"

Keiko Tsuruya?!

"Tsuruya-san!"

"We've become aware that you have managed to amass half of the female student population," Haruhi got to the point.

"And this concerns you because?"

"Because we need members, Tsuruya." Haruhi stated, omitting the '-san' honorific.

"True... but it's not my problem, nyoro. Now go away," Tsuruya stated, "I have megas-big things in mind for today's activities."

"Listen," Haruhi growled at her, "I'm willing to voluntarily arrest any of your club members. So, will you comply... or should I just voluntarily arrest you right now?!"

"... I guess I should take caution," Tsuruya said, grimly, "Very well. Have one of your subordinates meet me at the Duel Arena 5, 1:00 sharp. We'll discuss matters there. Oh, and I do recommend bringing your deck."

"See you there."  


* * *

Later...

As Yuki and I walked to the roof, I became increasingly worried. Why did Yuriko Tsuruya want us to bring our decks? What did she hope to obtain from that? And why did I feel like I'm being led to a trap?  


* * *

On the roof, was none other then Tsuruya-san, with an academy Duel Disk with green trim. I knew something was up.

"Now, I see Haru-nyan got TWO lackeys here," Tsuruya smirked, "Such a shame."

"Save us the pleasantries," Yuki responded, "And let's get down to business."

"Okay, If I win, You'll join. If You win, I will make half of my members deflect. And when they'll be fair game."

Donning a Duel Disk, Yuki stepped up to the proverbial "plate" and set her deck into said Duel Disk.

"Alright, let's duel, nyoro!" Tsuruya smiled, activating her duel disk.

"My sentiments exactly," Yuki monotoned.

Nagato: 4000 LP  
Tsuruya: 4000 LP

Tsuruya's turn.

"My turn!" Tsuruya began by drawing a card, "And I think you're about to enter a world where the sun smiles upon you! A world of humor and insanity! You're about to enter... Toon World!"

As a green book hovered above Tsuruya, she smiled.

"It may cost me a forth of my life points, but it's worth it! Your turn, Nyoro!"

Tsuruya: 3000 LP

"If so..." Yuki drew a card, "I'll begin by summoning Alien Warrior (1800) in Attack position."

As the beast materialized, Yuki set two face down cards.

"I believe it's your turn."

"Oh, you didn't attack? Big Mistake, Nyoro!" Tsuruya smiled, "I'll draw... and summon Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon (3000), Toon Summoned Skull (2500), and Toon Dark Magician Girl (2000)!"

As three cartoon versions of Blue-Eyes, Summoned Skull, and Dark Magician Girl appeared, I realized something.

"Wait a moment! You just summoned Three high-level monsters in one turn! Without tributes!"

"Yeah," Tsuruya said, "So?"

"Analysis," Yuki responded, "Against the rules."

"Screw the rules!" Tsuruya reacted, "I have money! And Green hair! TDMG! Attack her Warrior and bring shame upon her head! Shadow Mallet!"

The DMG ripoff hit Alien Warrior over the head, killing him instantly.

"Now, BETD and TSS, your turn! Demon Claw! Burst Stream!"

As the attacks reached Yuki...

"Activate Traps," Yuki monotoned, "Scrap Iron Scarecrows!"

The attacks were blocked by twin metallic scarecrows. Her life points were safe.

"And I believe the effects of your Toon Monsters," Yuki continued, "Seeing that they cannot attack without you losing 500 life points each, adding up to 1000 LP."

Tsuruya: 2000 LP

"My turn. I'll begin by playing Dark Core." Yuki said, "At the cost of one card from my hand, It will remove one monster on your field. And I will remove Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon."

As the Toon Blue-Eyes faded, I sensed that Yuki had a plan...

"And now," Yuki stated, "I'll play Alien Invasion, a spell card that allows me to summon one high level Cosmic or Alien monster without any tribute. I summon Cosmic Horror Gangi'el (2600)."

As the giant freak of nature emerged from... somewhere, the demon and spell-caster screamed in fear.

"But I won't attack just yet. First, I play Spell Shattering Arrow."

An arrow came flying out of nowhere, hitting Toon World... and destroying it, killing Toon Summoned Skull and Toon Dark Magician Girl in the process.

"Holy (BEEP) on a (BLEEP) Sandwich!" Tsuruya screamed, "I'm doomed!"

"Attack," Yuki monotoned, as Gangi'el obeyed, jumping upon the poor girl... and landing on top of her.

"OW! Teh Payn!" Tsuruya yelled.

It's just a hologram, isn't it?

Tsuruya: 0 LP

"Game Over." Yuki monotoned. "Now, reject half your members immediately."

"Heh... when I said that, I crossed my fingers behind my back. That means they're still members of the TGS, Nyoro!" Tsuruya laughed in triumph.

"Unfortunately, I detect a dark force corrupting you." Yuki said, before laying a finger on her forehead, "Initiate Mind Modification."

After a minute, Yuki removed her finger.

"Wow... suddenly I feel bad about my actions," Tsuruya mused, "I'm breaking up the Teenage Girl Squad."

And so, the Teenage Girl Squad broke apart, and there was much rejoicing.  


* * *

"YES! NOW WE HAVE MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO GET MEMBERS! WHOO-HOO!" Haruhi shouted in triumph.

KNOCK KNOCK.

"Huh?" Haruhi questioned the knocking, "I wonder who that could be."

"Attention, Duelists," the visitor spoke from behind the door... then began banging on the door, "OPEN THE DOOR, OR MY HAIR WILL BUST IT DOWN!"

... Oh no...

Asanina-san opened the door to a man in sunglasses, a tux, and a single spike in his hair.

"Attention Duelists!" The man proclaimed, "Are you the SOS Brigade? My Hair has been requested by Seto Kaiba to invite them to a Tournament."

His hair invites people to tournaments?

"Indeed, we are!" Haruhi shouted with glee.

"My Hair also has a package containing the brochure for the Tournament." The man stated, "Here you go."

As he handed Asahina-san a package, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise up. Something was up... and I want to know what...

UP NEXT: New Duelists! New Challenges!


	9. Chapter 9

As I walked with the cheery Haruhi, I began to realize something.

Why would Seto Kaiba ask a bunch of unknown duelists to participate in such a grand tournament?

"Perhaps someone became aware of our existence and figured it would be interesting for us to participate. But who?"

Suddenly, an Obelisk Blue with a white blazer-coat jumped out in front of us. I recognized him as Taka Kaiba, the best Obelisk Blue duelist of the school's first year.

"Surprise," Taka yelled in triumph, "It's me!"

"Wow," Haruhi muttered, "Didn't see that coming."

"The tournament will be starting in a few days," Taka said, "So guests of the school will start showing up soon enough."

Great...

Suddenly, I was grabbed from behind by... some kind of fisherman.

"Does Maiku Tsunami have to choke a bitch?" the Fisherman smiled.

No, he doesn't! Lemme go!

Letting me go, Maiku Tsunami said, "I hope my competition is ready for my skills!"

Yeah... because they DEFINATLY weren't ready for a surprise grab from behind!

"Do not play in the ocean unless you wish to drown!" Maiku warned us.

"You think we don't already know that?" Haruhi asked, before turning to me and saying, "We have to duel this guy?"

"And those dorks over there," I responded, pointing towards a duo heading for us. I recognized them as Rex Raptor and Weevil Underwood, a duo of formerly top duelists that have gone crazy over their declining years, now acting like a couple of idiot perverts.

"Hey, Weevil," Rex smirked, "it's your mom."

"Oh yeah," Weevil laughed.

"Okay, so like, listen up, dumbasses!" Rex yelled to all that can hear, "We're like totally gonna win this tournament, and then we're gonna score!"

"These guys sound awfully familiar," Haruhi noted.

"Familiar?" Rex noted, "PLEASE. It's not like you're any different. You're like that character in that book about a girl with god-like powers."

"HA! Even though I look like her, I have the same name as her, and pretty much the same personality, I'm not like THAT Haruhi Suzumiya," Haruhi declared.

"PROVE IT THEN!!"

"... I play a card game," Haruhi said.

I slapped my forehead, and groaned. This was going to be a LONG year.  


* * *

MEANWHILE, AT THE TOOLSHED (Slifer Red dorm. Seriously, It looks like a giant toolshed.) Outside Kyon's POV...

"Man..." Jake thought to himself, "I wonder how Cousin Sai is doing. I better call her and check."

He dialed a number and put the phone in his ear.

"I'm sorry, the number you're trying to call is currently unavailable. Please hang up and try again."

"BROOKLYN RAGE!" Jake yelled.  


* * *

MEANWHILE, AT THE RA YELLOW DORM...

Taniguchi and Kunikida are currently watching "Eden: The Zhang Chronicles"

ZHANG: You my Wang, G?

WANG: Yes, I am Colonel Wang.

ZHANG: Can I touch you?

"I just don't get the joke!" Kunikida complained.

"It is funny because "wang" means penis!" Taniguchi said.

"... Idiot."  


* * *

LATER... THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY...

"The time has come," a mysterious, female voice spoke, "The Battle Academy Tournament."

"Yes, we can understand that," another voice spoke, this one male, "And soon, our agents shall arrive on the island."

"They shall ____ obtain the cards needed ___ for our revenge," a third voice spoke, a female, semi-robotic voice.

"Indeed," The first voice spoke, "And the other Duel Spirits shall find our revenge... will not bode well for them."

"Yay! We're gonna kick some butt, eh, Sasaki?" a fourth, female voice yelled in delight.

"... Idiot," the male voice spoke, "You just ruined the mood."


End file.
